In reply to my friend Vanessa

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I really do know how you feel, the last few months have been a mammoth battle, that I seem to have had to drag myself through daily. I got to a stage where I was seriously at the end of my physical and emotional tether, and was ready to crack, and I honestly did not now how I was going to go on.

Lucy has been great and finding the new yard has been so much better for me.

I feel really down all the time at the moment, and totally intolerant of things I would normally have a high tolerance for, and feel quite antagonistic at the world in general.

I think the never ended crappy whether is not helping, am finding it hard to even find my inner smile at the moment. My confidence with myself, is at rock bottom, and just feel I am crap at everything, so whats the point, why bother doing it.Feel like I am constantly setting my self up for failure. Why put myself through the misery? I have no self belief.

Just feel really blah at the moment, and having really really painful feet at the moment as well, so every step is like walking on glass, bloody horrible when the things you enjoy doing the most involves walking on them!

So I can totally relate to everything you have said, and empathise a great deal.

I really want the warmer weather!!

In reply to: http://living-with-arthur.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/refusing-to-be-beaten.html

About silvermaneuk

Known as Nicky Turner-Sterling at school, and married and became Field. Got divorced, now Turner-Sterling again. Married to Kristopher and kept my maiden name. Nicknames are Betty, Knickers or Nicky. I am a mom to 3 great kids. I have been diagnosed with CFS/ME & Fbromyalgia and I also have neurological problems. I am registered disabled. So I have good days and bad days. Sometimes really bad days, where I cant get out of bed. But I try not to let it hold me back, I have to work with my limitations, but after a long period of being bedridden I finally got back to working albeit part time. I seem to be constantly on a diet lol. I love photography, I love my computers, and often create digital art on it. I love to read, and I love to listen to music, passionate about photography. I love to travel and look at beautiful places.I love to mooch around shops (especially the £1 shop lol) and stuff. I love to bake and cook. Love my animals, have 4 small dogs,4 cats and 1, 8 year old pony. Spirit is my best friend, I trained him, so I could ride him for physio therapy, and trained him so I could ride with as low impact as possible. Riding helps my pelvis and hips. When I dont ride it affects my gait, and I can hardly walk, so it is an excellent form of physio therapy for me. It can also make me flare badly, so I have to get the balance right. He's bitless, barefoot and treeless, he really looks after me, and makes it possible for me to have my dream, and he gave me hope again. If my physio hadn't encouraged to to try horse riding for therapy, I probably would still be bedridden. A disabled rider can do it, with the right tools! and pace pace pace! I can talk the hind leg of a donkey and snore for England. I get bored very quickly, which means I tend to flit from one thing to another, or do more than one thing at once lol.

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