Dont poke the crazies…


I moved to a new yard 6 months ago and to start with everything went well. Really loved it there. One of the liverys who had been there 2 years left under a strange cloud, almost did a moonlight flit, and before she left she tried to warn me about the Yard Owner, but the yard owner  seemed perfectly nice, so I thought it was just sour grapes.

However I was very wrong, the Yard owner was like Jekyll and Hyde, and you never know which one your going to meet, the lovely chirpy ‘have a cup of tea, and a chat’… or the angry constantly hen pecking, bully.

Unfortunately I have been having to deal with the latter a lot. She has literally over the last 3 months, had me in tears. She belittled my disability, and humiliated me in front of other Liveries. She constantly picked on me, often about the most ridiculous things, (and other liveries), to the point you literally cannot do anything right. She never apologises, for anything, even though its blatantly obvious she is in the wrong.

Although I loved the yard, I just couldn’t cope anymore as she was making me really anxious, and stressed out, to the point I dreaded going to the yard.

So I said I was leaving. My livery runs from the 12th-12th, but my new yard runs from the 1st, so I said I was leaving the 31st, but paid upt the 12th April. I very delicately told her why I was leaving, as she seemed mystified. Its like she could not see her behaviour at all.

On the morning everything went pear shaped, 21st March. I arrived as usual to sort dude out and I was busy poo picking in the woodland, when she arrived, and she very chirply said “good morning lovely”, I returned the greeting, thinking ‘PHEW’, as she has been quite off with me since I said I was leaving. There had been yet another incident in Facebook messenger, on the previous Saturday, and so I had removed myself from the group, and asked her to deal with me directly as I did not think she could effectively communicate on Facebook.

She asked me about what hay I put into the woodland and I said I just filled the 3 empty nets, and put them back in, and I carried on poo picking. I was just putting wheelbarrow back and she came out of the barn, and asked me what the pile of hay was in the woodland. There was a tiny pile of hay.

I said, it’s the dregs from the nets. So she started yelling at me, well then they weren’t EMPTY then we’re they, emphasising the word empty very aggressively. Then I said well they had the dregs in the bottom , and you (as in the Yard owner) have always said don’t put new hay, on top of old, and empty the dregs out, so they can eat them.

Which is exactly what I did, in a neat pile. So then she shouted again, so they weren’t EMPTY then, as you said they were EMPTY!!! She was doing this weird thing were her hands, making the word empty more aggressive, and she was beetroot at this point.

I said, very puzzled, as I placed the poo picker back,  “I am a bit unsure why your building this into a drama, as you have specifically told me not to put new hay on old hay, and you have told me, to always empty the dregs out, and so I just did what you said, and put the dregs onto one pile, so they weren’t all over the place”. Unfortunately on saying this, she then she kinda went postal. Her eyes lit up in anger, and a kinda craziness, But they weren’t EMPTY!! You said they were EMPTY, and they werent EMPTY

At this point I am thinking WTF is wrong with her???? I said, “I think your making a mountain out of a molehill”, and she shouted. “I probably am!?????” Then started yelling at me that she wants me to “piss off, and leave”, and I said “if you refund my livery I can go”, she said (even though it don’t actually have a contract) “No you have to pay 4 weeks notice” so no she won’t. So I said I don’t know what you expect me to do then.

Then she started saying all the mums are keeping their kids away from me, because I am depressive apparently?? I didn’t believe this, as I had only just the day before, had a lovely time on the yard, with one of them, and gifted them a big pile of books, So I said “really?… Whatever” , then she screwed up her face in anger and sharply hit me with her gloves. After that I said “that’s assault I should report you to the police” and she said, “do it.”

I then told her in no uncertain terms, that I thought she was a vile bully. I had heard allsorts of things about her over the last few months, and at the time I thought people to be overdramatic, and now I believed everything they had said about her. So  I told her , her she lived up to her bad reputation.

I managed to get to the car and then I ended up sobbing in the car. It took me about 15 minutes to calm down. I was in so much shock I had to cancel my clients for the morning and then spend time trying to sort Spirit out, with transport, to take him to his new yard. Thankfully my new yard owner, was happy for me to go early, she was very supportive.

Since this has happened several ex livery’s have come forward, and it seems I am not the only one to have gone through this kind of thing. So that did feel comforting in a way. I feel sad though, that I know other liveries will go through this, as it seems to be a repeated cycle with her.

Thankfully dude has settled in well at his new yard and hopefully we have landed on our feet.

About silvermaneuk

Known as Nicky Turner-Sterling at school, and married and became Field. Got divorced, now Turner-Sterling again. Married to Kristopher and kept my maiden name. Nicknames are Betty, Knickers or Nicky. I am a mom to 3 great kids. I have been diagnosed with CFS/ME & Fbromyalgia and I also have neurological problems. I am registered disabled. So I have good days and bad days. Sometimes really bad days, where I cant get out of bed. But I try not to let it hold me back, I have to work with my limitations, but after a long period of being bedridden I finally got back to working albeit part time. I seem to be constantly on a diet lol. I love photography, I love my computers, and often create digital art on it. I love to read, and I love to listen to music, passionate about photography. I love to travel and look at beautiful places.I love to mooch around shops (especially the £1 shop lol) and stuff. I love to bake and cook. Love my animals, have 4 small dogs,4 cats and 1, 8 year old pony. Spirit is my best friend, I trained him, so I could ride him for physio therapy, and trained him so I could ride with as low impact as possible. Riding helps my pelvis and hips. When I dont ride it affects my gait, and I can hardly walk, so it is an excellent form of physio therapy for me. It can also make me flare badly, so I have to get the balance right. He's bitless, barefoot and treeless, he really looks after me, and makes it possible for me to have my dream, and he gave me hope again. If my physio hadn't encouraged to to try horse riding for therapy, I probably would still be bedridden. A disabled rider can do it, with the right tools! and pace pace pace! I can talk the hind leg of a donkey and snore for England. I get bored very quickly, which means I tend to flit from one thing to another, or do more than one thing at once lol.

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